I would make you stay, so I don't have to say you were the one that got away

Tonight I'm sat here and after writing a 1000 words on child care policy and law I find myself asking, how often in our lives do we let something really good get away for us to just cling to the bad stuff we don't need any more. Writing my assignment didn't make me think of this its been playing on my mind for a couple of days now. I'm one of those really annoying people who find something that makes them happy, and become happy then stamp all over it and go back to something that doesn't necessarily make me happy but I am comfortable with it. How many times must we hurt ourselves and others in this process. I used to say that doing what I did was a mistake, now after a harsh reality shock I've realised the only mistake I ever made was not trusting myself enough to be comfortable some place else. Is it too late to go back and correct what I did? yes, far too late. I hurt and changed the way people felt and behaved, and now I hate the people they have become and I can't help but think its mainly my fault. I don't believe in regretting anything, but right now there's a few significant things in my life that if I could go back and change, I probably would. Suppose we just get so attached to one person we are blinded by their significance in our lives and cannot see the opportunities and happiness something else offers us. I know a couple of people that will read this and relate to my post, some will have done the same thing, some will have had the same thing done to them. I don't really know if this post is a sort of apology to the people I've hurt along the way or just something I found easy enough to blog about. Everything happens for a reason though, and I'm sure one day everything will fall just as it should.... I just can't help thinking sometimes what or where I would be now if I'd have listened to my head and gave my heart a chance somewhere different. Are you the one that got away, or a stepping stone in this journey of finding myself? I suppose now I will never know.

Laura xoxo