Nothing lasts forever......

I am absolutely heartbroken, my favourite couple in the whole of the country are on a break! Lydia Rose Bright and James Argent have been having time apart since Christmas and the nation only found out last night in the first episode of series four of The Only Way Is Essex. I am absolutely stunned that they managed to keep this quiet considering they are both in the public eye so much. It just goes to show though that any celebrity can keep their private lives private if they try hard enough. I really feel for both of them in this 

situation because from last nights episode you can clearly see how much they still truly love each other especially with James tweeting that he had flew back from Dubai early in order to give Lydia her 21st birthday present. Awww I really hope they work it out I think I'll give up all hope of finding the love of my life if this couple split up. They've been through so much together and have been together such a long time it will be devastating to see them go their separate ways. I hope this series brings them both back together and shows viewers that sometimes love does last forever 

Selfish, or just tired of putting everybody first.

I am such a maternal person, all I've ever wanted to do is look after people and put them first. The last couple of weeks though I've been a bit selfish, I've been told that I put too much effort into looking after others and in return I don't look after myself enough and then I end up poorly and run down. So I didn't stop caring about other peoples problems, I just started caring more about my own and I've seen such a difference in myself since. I've been happier in so many different ways and so much has happened the last couple of weeks. I think this year really could be mine after the rubbish year I had last year. I still feel bad though because I feel selfish for putting myself first so much, but if I'm not happy how can I help anyone else to be happy? I'm glad that I have such beautiful and understanding friends who see this change as only a positive thing and like the new happy me :) I like not having to rely on anybody else for my happiness. For the first time in a while I am completely happy with myself and I hope it stays this way for a very long time :) 
Laura 
xoxo 

Karma if I've ever seen Karma before

Well well well Simon Cowell didn't expect Cheryl Cole to be voted best Judge for the Xfactor USA did he. After uprooting her from her family and friends and promising her a life in the USA Cowell dumped and replaced Cheryl as a judge on the Xfactor USA stating that her accent was unclear and hard for the Americans to understand. What an absolute knock back for poor Cheryl after everything she's been through recently. However she bounced back as she always does and only went and got voted the best Judge for her time on the Xfactor USA. Eat your words Simon Cowell. What a beautiful woman Cheryl is. Definitely one of my favourite celebrities! 
Laura 
xoxox

First week back at school....

Wow what a week, first week back at University for me this week. I am shattered! Ok so I am only in two days a week but its still tiring, reading, writing assignments, finding inspiration for my dissertation. So I'm really sorry that my blog has been neglected this week. I am currently sat in bed writing this because I'm refusing to get out of bed today until I have too. Nothing new or exciting has really happened in my life this week. I've spent the week having my childhood ruined by lecturers who love telling me how Disney structures your childhood in a negative way - single parent families, learning to deal with death before they need to. All subliminal messages of course! I'll never look at a disney film the same again. I have a few things to blog about today, this is just a general rant of why my blog has been left so neglected
Laura 
xoxo

Goodbye to the extra :(

I don't know how many of you watch itv2's The Only Way Is Essex, but I absolutely love it. I was devastated by the departure of lovable scoundrel Mark Wright at the end of season 3 but absolutely shocked when I saw on twitter that Maria Fowler would not be returning for series 4. Maria became famous for being the extra in Lauren Popes' and Kirk Norcross' argument over his date with Lucy Meck by hurling abuse at the pair across a restaurant in defence of her best friend. Since then she's become a part of the team, appearing in almost every episode of series 3. She was recently dating Mick Norcross (Kirks Father) and disappeared from the show for a while when horrible rumours were started that she was an escort. Proven false of course. Personally I loved her on the show with her big teeth and false boobs, she was honest and made absolute hilarious television. I will miss her and I'm sure a lot of other TOWIE followers will too. I hope she comes back in the future to show the new extra's how its done.
Laura 
xoxo

Is Heartless the best policy?

Just had a conversation with an old friend over the phone, who's afraid she's too heartless for her own good. It made me wonder is heartless the best policy? do we as girls, allow ourselves to get too attached to hot blooded males who have one thing and one thing only on their mind. Ok so I'm not saying that every single male in the world is like this, I've come across a couple that aren't but every girl in my group of friends, seems to go for the type that will use you, and hurt you. Myself included. Its hard because its a strange kind of attraction, and its hard to avoid. So would it hurt to become a little bit more like them and would it better for us. I'm sure it would certainly spare the pillow a few tears, but is this the point when everything maternal about us kicks in and says no you do care and your supposed to care and its ok that you care? I honestly wish I could be a little bit more heartless and less attached to this arrogant, pig headed type of person I'm attracted to. Yet I can't  help to wonder if its a good thing being heartless, is it more or less attractive? Does society accept heartless women? or does it just throw them to the side and class them as spinsters, women that have been hurt so badly in the past they can't bring themselves to love again. Is it part and parcel of being young, were not looking for somebody to spend the rest of our lives with at the age of 20, so is it just a bit of fun that our emotions get too attached too? 
Laura 
xoxo

I would make you stay, so I don't have to say you were the one that got away

Tonight I'm sat here and after writing a 1000 words on child care policy and law I find myself asking, how often in our lives do we let something really good get away for us to just cling to the bad stuff we don't need any more. Writing my assignment didn't make me think of this its been playing on my mind for a couple of days now. I'm one of those really annoying people who find something that makes them happy, and become happy then stamp all over it and go back to something that doesn't necessarily make me happy but I am comfortable with it. How many times must we hurt ourselves and others in this process. I used to say that doing what I did was a mistake, now after a harsh reality shock I've realised the only mistake I ever made was not trusting myself enough to be comfortable some place else. Is it too late to go back and correct what I did? yes, far too late. I hurt and changed the way people felt and behaved, and now I hate the people they have become and I can't help but think its mainly my fault. I don't believe in regretting anything, but right now there's a few significant things in my life that if I could go back and change, I probably would. Suppose we just get so attached to one person we are blinded by their significance in our lives and cannot see the opportunities and happiness something else offers us. I know a couple of people that will read this and relate to my post, some will have done the same thing, some will have had the same thing done to them. I don't really know if this post is a sort of apology to the people I've hurt along the way or just something I found easy enough to blog about. Everything happens for a reason though, and I'm sure one day everything will fall just as it should.... I just can't help thinking sometimes what or where I would be now if I'd have listened to my head and gave my heart a chance somewhere different. Are you the one that got away, or a stepping stone in this journey of finding myself? I suppose now I will never know.

Laura xoxo

Sometimes its hard to follow your heart, tears don't mean your loosing

Just a quick post because I'm supposed to be writing a 3000 word assignment. I absolutely love Jessie J, my favourite song is Who you are, hence the title. This woman has been through a general struggle to get to where she is now and she takes absolutely nothing for granted. Watching her on the Xfactor UK made me realise just how grounded she is and how each and every song has a significant meaning to her and an experience in her life. She encourages her fans to be true to who they are always, and never to hide because somebody doesn't agree or doesn't like what you stand for. I know a couple of people who went to see her towards the end of 2011 in concert and they did nothing but praise her and say how amazing she was. She is definitely a woman to look up to and take inspiration from. Her diversity and courage to show such diversity is absolutely amazing and I hope she continues to make beautiful music for a long time. 
Laura 
xoxox 

Music is my life

Fourth blog of the day, I warned you I had a lot to say for myself! Anyway I want to start by dedicating this post to my best friend Hannah, because I say music is my life but for this girl, well she lives and breathes it and does an amazing job of it too. Never fails to have me and Holly sobbing when she sings, amazing doesn't even come close. Anyway, if I had to go a day without hearing a song, I think I could just die. I have the most random taste in music, I don't have a particular style I'm a music nomad. Anything I can relate to I will listen to. Last year my Album was Adele 21, what an amazing, beautiful and inspirational woman! My flat mates were most definitely sick to death of hearing this album but every single word was so heartfelt and perfect I had to have it on repeat. Another album that was in my top ten last year was Cheryl Cole Messy Little Raindrops, every word of every song in the album related to her recent split from footballer Ashley Cole. Now I said I didn't have a particular style but both of those albums are very heartbroken girl coming out of a relationship. So this is where I shock you, Drake is the most amazing male to ever have stepped on the earth, see I told you my music taste was random. I absolutely love his Take Care album and I must listen to it at least once every single day I'm hoping to get my mits on some tickets for his UK Tour this April. Another lady I find extremely inspirational with her music is Nicki Minaj, this woman inspires every single teenage girl to be themselves in this world full of people who try to be the same as everybody else. To me music explains how your feeling, what's on your mind, what you stand for and what you as a person are about. Every single girl has a song they listen to when they're happy, that reminds them of their first love, that brings back a certain memory. I love music, without it life would be so boring and I'd find it much harder to express myself. 
Laura 
xoxoxo

Sex Addiction or Sexual Leach

Jeff Leach has recently been thrown into the public eye for his "sex addiction". The term addiction is defined as something a person needs, cannot go a single day, maybe even in extreme cases a few hours without. So is his approach to women and sex  pure chauvinism or is it a medical addiction he has no control over a medical addiction. I watched his appearance (some may say performance) on This Morning where he painted himself to be an innocent little boy who feared femininity and love and put his behaviour down to addiction and the fact he was scared to fall in love. He said this was because in his younger years he had been left heartbroken and devastated by relationships and couldn't leave the past behind. He refers to his need for this huge amount of sex as a craving of the affection and attention he received in such relationships. However watching his documentary I see a very different side to Leach, I see a man who is bold and open about the amount of girls he has taken advantage of and used. He openly stands on a stage in front of hundreds of people and makes jokes about the women he has had sexual relations with, and his "addiction" for sex. What do we think of this bloggers? Is this man "sick" is it a medical condition that he cannot obtain control over? Or is he just an arrogant, selfish man whose brains are in his pants (which are not on very often considering he's slept with over 300 women). 

Thank god I found the good in goodbye.....

The last couple of months I haven't really been myself. Mostly because of a bad breakup, a break up some would say should have happened a very long time ago. Break ups are hard right? you get so used to being with the same person for such a long period of time then you have to suddenly get used to being without them and becoming this "I" where it used to be "we". I am  a big believer "Everything Happens For A Reason" and I guess this happened for a perfect reason, I needed to become a stronger person on my own. Its made me wonder at what point in a persons life do they actually realise that being single doesn't always mean your lonely, or unattractive, or fat. It just means your far too strong to rely on somebody else for your own happiness. The single life isn't so bad, I've surrounded myself with beautiful friends and amazing opportunities that I would never have had in a relationship, when I graduate I plan to travel for 12 months doing amazing work in Thailand and Africa. I am unbelievably thankful, to the friends and family that supported me recently, I would never have got through any of this without them. I guess as long as you have good friends, and a supportive family you have everything in life you need, a relationship is just a bonus. I wouldn't ever rule a relationship out (nobody wants to die alone Johnson:2011), but at the minute I am perfectly content as I am.Your only young once as my grandma says, live your life, there's plenty of time for settling down when you've done everything you want to in life, fool around for a bit. I suppose now is the time to make mistakes, because I have plenty of time to correct them. Do ridiculous things with my friends, go on crazy road trips, girls holidays, drunken nights out. The most important thing I learnt in all of this is you only live once, if I died tomorrow would I be happy with my life so far, or would I think Laura,you could of done so much more! 
So 2012, and the rest of my young years; I am going to do everything I ever dreamt of as a little girl. That's what they're there for right.
Laura xoxox

Yikes, first blog!!

Ahh first post ! Nervous! K so this isn't my first blog but with a new year I wanted to start a new one. Sooo, I'm 21 this year hence the blog title and I wanted to just write down all my significant moments so that when I'm old and wrinkly and grey (which I hope will never happen) I can read it and remember it, a bit notebooky I know but if I ever get to the point where I don't remember my own name, my grandchildren can read me all my  young headed rambles :)  I'm a student, studying Childhood & Youth Studies at Edge Hill University. Music is my entire life, without it I could not survive a single day, I can't sing or dance, but I give it a good go when nobodies watching hoping to secretly be spotted by Mr Cowell. I'm basically writing this blog because I'm just a girl who  has too much to say for herself about life in general, and I guessed somebody out there would like to read it maybe. I love life, and I absolutely love to talk about things, stupid little things, so I guess this blog is going to be full of my rambles about things I've seen or heard and liked, not liked etc etc. Anyway, follow me if you like & my promise to you is to try and keep it interesting :D Lots of Laura love xoxoxox